Lawmaker Winston Castelo’s proposed “Anti-Planking Act of 2011” was met with derision on the Internet. I loved it—it was the funniest thing I had heard that day.The ridiculous proposal specifically refers to students and prescribes a “universal code of student conduct whereby planking by a student or a group of students during street rallies or similar protest actions as a form of redress of grievance be strictly prohibited,” with appropriate sanctions to be imposed for violations.From the proposed law, as posted on Rep. Castelo’s Web site:“Sec. 3. Under this Act, planking is when a student or group of students lies face down in unusual locations especially in streets or other public places, keeping the hands along the body and the feet outstretched and especially where such act is meant as a form of redress of grievance against government.Sec. 4. Every bonafide student from any school, college or university shall conduct himself with high degree of discipline and propriety.Sec. 5. The Department of Education in the case of elementary and high school students and the Commission on Higher Education in the case of college students shall draft a universal Code of Student Conduct to carry out the provisions of this Act.Further, DepEd and CHED, respectively shall issue appropriate rules and regulations to effectively carry out intent and purpose of this Act.”What’s wrong with this Act, apart from the fact that it’s shallow and senseless to begin with?It is specifically addressed to students. Therefore, if a non-student planks right beside a student during a rally, only the student would be charged. (Is that fair? Whether or not it’s a student who planks, the streets or “unusual location” would still be obstructed!)Section 3 defines planking as lying “face down” while “keeping the hands along the body and the feet outstretched”. Therefore, if students lie face up or sideways, and/or extend their arms and draw up their feet, they do not violate the Act. (That’s a loophole big enough to drive a tank through.)If students were to be specifically prohibited against planking during rallies, this means they can do “owling” (in which a person squats like an owl in unusual places) or “teapotting” (bending the arms into the “I’m a Little Teapot” nursery song shape) instead—both fads rose after planking went globally viral. Or they could perform “horsemanning” (a photography fad in the 1920s, named after the Headless Horseman in the Washington Irving story—it involves two people posing so as to “appear to be a single body with a detached head”).Section 4 is so vague it could mean anything; is that the way to write a good law?Castelo was also quoted by news media as saying, “…unbelieving bus drivers and law enforcement authorities might just ram through these warm and living bodies rolled out on highways.” (Because motorists and traffic cops are that stupid? “Unbelieving”, what does that even mean in this context? That statement certainly shows a high regard for the intellectual level of the ordinary Juan.)Why not create a law banning truly hazardous behavior during rallies? These could include the wearing of heavy costumes (they could cause the body to overheat and perspire profusely, leading to body odor), setting effigies and flags on fire (the students might burn themselves or other people and property), rushing the riot police unarmed (the police might retaliate— those water guns pack a hell of a punch), and clenching fists at rallies (because one could accidentally punch someone else in the face).While we’re at it, how about an “Anti-Flunking Law” (to motivate students to pass their courses)? An “Anti-Plunking Law” (to prevent people from dropping things heavily and abruptly)? An “Anti-Thunking Law” (prohibiting the creation of dull, hollow sounds)?Seriously, a law against planking? It’s a fad, something that is “generally considered a fleeting behavior” (Wiki). And like all fads, it’ll wear itself out sooner or later and people will go on to the next silly thing. Remember the siete haircut for girls? The bands Menudo or F4? Jejemon? You don’t? My point exactly. Looking back at these fads, we wonder what the all the fuss surrounding them was for.Instead of focusing on more urgent matters such as the reproductive health bill or the freedom of information bill, this lawmaker chooses to penalize a fad adopted as a peaceful form of protest.
From what twisted parallel dimension did this galactically stupid and time-and-effort wasting proposal emanate? As a lawyer told me some years ago after I had attended my first Congress hearing, “The Constitution does not set an IQ requirement for people running for public office.”
I found this funny, actually. What kind of congressman would do something like this? I don't even think people would plank in the middle of the street, who wants to end up being injured badly, anyway? Isa pa, it's just a fad, it will fade soon. Making a law to prevent this is just plain ridiculous. It's like taking candy away from a baby. I may not be a politician but I bet this law is to ridiculous to be passed. You don't have to study law or be a congressman to know that. You know what, this congressman should go and focus on laws like Freedom of Information Law or perhaps pass laws that would finally put an end to corruption. Comparing this to Mayor Sara Duterte's punching incident, (which some didn't like) I bet Mayor Duterte's punch makes more sense than this and I bet this congressman should be punched by her for making such ridiculous law but yeah, I'm just kidding with that but seriously, that punching incident made more sense. This is just plain nonsense and I bet even senators and other congressmen and even us would just laugh our asses off while reading a copy of this bill. My message to all the planking people out there, here's a little piece of advice, get out there and plank! Just don't harm yourself, if you think that the place you're planking in is too dangerous for your standards, then don't force yourself, if you have enough guts and you're sure you won't hurt yourself (and I hope you won't) then go for it. Most especially, try to avoid planking on busy streets, you don't want yourself to be run over, don't you? Let's be Responsible Plankers. May kasabihan nga "With freedom comes responsibility".
'Till the next post
-Therese
